The Doom Doll

So. Lets talk a little bit about EPCOT. Its pretty much the coolest place in the entire world and anyone whos been there knows it. You can drink around the world, live with the land, journey into imagination, design your own goddamn rollercoaster and be awed at our Spaceship Earth.

I FUCKING LOVE EPCOT.

Lucky for me, my last trip down to Disney, I got to go twice.

Lets start off with all of the delicious things there are to drink if you are fortunate enough to be over 21.

Drinking around the world is kind of like a rite of passage. If you go to World Showcase, you HAVE to do it. You can’t be a little pussy about it either. Some of that shit tastes WEIRD. However, so does the Beverly over at Club Cool and every asshole in the world makes someone else try it just to see their face. It happens.  On this most recent trip, Leo and I taped our drinking around the world adventure. In a few countries we were joined by Ron Bidnez, AKA Ronnie Bizzle and his crazy adorable girlfriend, Autumn.  So, here we go!

Now, you should really start at one country and continue in a line to the rest, but the when we went, we had lunch first so our first drink was in Germany.

I had a beer that was literally bigger than my face. The old dude sitting across from me could not get over my little ass drinking it.

I didn’t get a picture of the old man, though. Sorry kids.

THAT HUGE BEER was a really great Hefeweizen that I dont remember the name of.

THEN! We went to Mexico! La Cava, duh. This place has the best margaritas ever. I dont even like tequila like that. I had a blood orange one. SO fucking good. Pentakis had the cucumber that was delicious and Leo had the avocado one….which was like, thick. Delicious, though. Little awkward, but delicious.

NEXT! Was Norway! Now, I was in the Stave Church looking at all the Viking stuff while Leo went to go get whatever the hell it was we drank. I know it came in a very small glass, not much unlike a shot glass but prettier, and it was strong. After I was all, ‘yeah…vikings drink that shit.’. Sadly I did not see a single Cast Member with even a hint of corpse paint makeup.

Photo by Jeremy Saffer for his crazy rad corpse paint series. Paint by ME!

Too bad.

AND ZEN! CHINA! [See what I did there?] Honestly, I think the China pavilion could step it up a bit in regards to the food and stuff. Im pretty sure people in China make fun of Americans for thinking they live on shit like General Tso’s….but thats what we get. Annnywayyyyy! Plum wine was what I had. That shit was SO SWEET. I mean, it was yummy, but I seriously couldn’t finish my glass. It was kind of a bummer. So…maybe dont get that. Unless Manischewitz is your jam, then be my guest.

AFTER! ITALY! That pavilion is so damn pretty. I mean, they are all very impressive, but Italy is just beautiful. Maybe it was more beautiful cause everything smelled like pizza. Either way. For the drinking we had Prosecco, and it was goood. My buddy Paul and I usually start off our brunches with some prosecco and our respective smoking choices at his place before heading out. Its got a soft spot in my heart. AND, whatever, the shit comes in a pretty glass and its bubbly and I have diamonds AND the word ‘doll’ tattooed on me. Come on now.

HERES WHERE WE CHEAT! We didn’t get anything at this American pavilion this trip. Why? We fucking live here and I had an 18 pack of american beer back at the villa. Last time I was there though, I had a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat and good lord, I wish I could fill a CamelBak with that. So, yeah.

NEXT! JAPAN! This experience in particular is a really, really cool one. Theres this cute sake bar with a bunch of different kinds of sakes. Behind the bar is a [well, for us] small, cute japanese girl who serves you your sake. The sake comes in a souvenir plastic cup and you get to pick pink or blue! The coolest part is yet to come! The adorable japanese girls asks you your name and then writes it on your cup for you! Now, I may be wrong, but Im pretty sure languages like japanese are weird in how they do names. Like, different characters are used with each person so the name fits them better or something. If Im not wrong, isnt that spiffy? I think so. I got a lemongrass sake and I wish I had a CamelBak for that, too. I almost bought a bottle of it and didnt….which is a mistake I will not make twice.

See? Too cute.

AND FRANCE! Now in France, errrybody talks about the slushies. I myself am not really a fan of frozen adult beverages, but when the situation calls for it, I can get down with the get down. I had the Grand Marnier one and I honestly dont have anything bad to say about it. It wasnt very strong, but thats usually the case with a frozen drink [except Vegas] in my experience. It was soooo good though. This also had a fancy glass. This bitch is a sucker for a fancy glass.

OH, CANADA! Word on the street is, Canada is the bomb diggity place to be in EPCOT if you want a steak. Also, Ice Wine. Which was…good? I drank it really fast. Theres a really pretty waterfall and a box that has butterflies in it that apparently has something to do with the Kim Possible save the world thing. I didnt spend much time in Canada. One of these says Ill check out that circle vision business. Eh.

Stayed for a photo!

There aren’t many photos of any of this cause, duh…drinking. I did make someone take a photo of this Lady and the Tramp for me, so…take this one, too!

LOOK AT HER EARRRRRSSSSSSSS. <3

NOW. This is there my drinking around the world stops for this particular trip, AND ILL TELL YOU WHY.

FUCKIN’ SOARIN’, MAN.

This bitch. I have been to EPCOT 3 times, I have stood in line AND had a fastpass for Soarin’ each time. I have been on Soarin’ ONE TIME. First time I was there, shit wasnt happening. Line was bananas. Day 1 at Epcot this trip, line was bananas with a fastpass so I decided to come back later with Pentakis. So, I dipped out on the last couple pavilions to run with Pentakis in her chair over to Future World only to hear that there was a 40 minute wait for it. The time was 8:40, the park closes at 9. So…that wasnt happening. I finally got onto Soarin’ on my third attempt. 3rd times a charm? Whatever. I will say that once I finally rode it, it was pretty amazing. One of my absolute favorite things that Disney will put in some rides is scent. They add smells to enhance everything that is happening. Boy howdy, I love that. On Soarin’ you smell the ocean, forests, orange groves, goodNESS! Its like I couldnt sniff fast enough. So, I wanted to be really mad at Soarin’, but you win this one, Disney. I still think Mission: Space is just a waste of well, space. 

Heres something else you NEED to do in EPCOT. Eat at The Land pavilion, and ride Living with the Land - twice. Living with the Land is the closest thing there is left to what used to be EPCOT Center. Oh man, as soon as you walk in that place…its the most delicious smell Ive ever smelled. The food is SO goddamn good, and a lot of what is served is grown in Living with the Land. That Walt sure did have all the best ideas. Just thinking about The Land makes me sigh all dreamy-like. Siiiiigh.

Earlier I mentioned that you can design your own goddamn roller coaster. Let me elaborate. It can be a rollercoaster or like, a jet or something else that goes insanely fast. I chose a rollercoaster because I was on a mission to make Leo puke. Head your tiny little feets over to the Innoventions pavilion and check out the Sum of all Thrills. Its educational, and really neat. Teaches about math and physics and puts it in a way that makes kids not wanna beat up the smart kid, at least until the ride is over. You get these cards, design your ride [which is timed, so dont fuckin mosey], then wait for the CM to load your card and you into these pod things that spin you around and put you in some kind of VR bubble. If youre nice, the CM can add extra loops before you get on!! Leo didn’t puke, but I didn’t either….and there is always a next time.

I think my favorite part of this trip was being recognized. Like I said previously, whenever I get recognized, it makes my whole week. I LOVE to meet new people that are nice, and I mean…if youre reading this rag I write you MUST be nice. Nice-ish. Maybe. ANYWAY. Pentakis and I were in MouseGears looking at charm bracelets ‘cause we’re suckers for that shit [I like pins, too…but I dont collect or get all crazy about it though, those people are out there] when this cute lady came up to me. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you, but are you the girl on the cover of…..the book?” I started to giggle and said that I was. She then called her daughter and daughter’s boyfriend [who recognized me initially] over to come say hello. She had The Dark Side of Disney on her trip with her! It was back at her hotel room! That was SO fucking cool to me. Leo showed back up from a secret mission at the perfect time to say hello and give her a few of our super cool temporary tattoos. I took a few photos and gave some cards and hugs and then we parted ways. Super duper rad.

Here’s Leonard Kinsey wearing the temporary tattoo ‘cause he didn’t get a real one!

Then I spent more money than I wanted to at the Art of Disney store and MouseGears. So worth it though. Ceramic vintage Magic Kingdom cup, BEAUTIFUL Princess print where Ive never seen Snow White look so beautiful and a vintage-look EPCOT Center shirt with Spaceship Earth on it. Not to brag, but I got my paws on some pretty sweet pins, too. Thats not all I got, but I think its all I wanna talk about right now hahahaha.

I wanna save the world with Kim Possible one time. THERE, I said it!

Can I just live here?

So, back at home in the Mid-Atlantic, there has been some exciting goings on. Like, when I posted this photo on my Twitter…

and people started to get a little excited.

With damn good reason. The first novel from Mr. Leonard Kinsey is coming, and it is GREAT. Being that Im the lucky girl who gets to be on the cover, Ive already read it. Its really, really good. I swear Im not just saying it because Im the tattooed sidekick! The book will be out in May, and I encourage everyone to get a copy. Especially if you’re a fan of Walt Disney World. I dont wanna give away too much [besides, you can read all about it at the Bamboo Forest Publishing website] so I’ll just let this teaser image speak for itself…

Y’all have plenty of reason to be excited. Just like the Dark Side of Disney, that beautiful photo was taken by Alan Partlow. [The top one Pentakis took on my cell phone, whattup!]

EVENTS!

Leonard, Pentakis and I will be at the National Halloween Convention in Philadelphia, PA on May 4 and 5th! We will have copies of The Dark Side of Disney, as well as the 8x10 featured on my Doll Parts and a brand new one that I’m obsessing over. We juuusssst might have other surprises and goodies for you, too! I’ll be wearing dresses and heels and taking photos, and Leonard will be wearing some kind of wacky disguise. Plus you might spot my lady starring as the pretty girl who takes the picture of you with me. Exciting things happening all around, so be sure to come out and say hello!

Glitter and Gore…

<3

Draven

And cause I KNOW you guys missed them, heres the girls! <3

WHAT A FUCKING WEEK I HAD IN DISNEY.

Which means, I was in Disney World from 2/26-3/3. I didn’t announce this to anyone publicly, as a few people have come to Leo and I essentially telling us to keep our heads down. SO, better safe than sorry, yeah? I think I might kill myself if I was banned from WDW property. Deadass surrious.

So, I was picked up by Leonard Kinsey and Pentakis at early sunday morning, and we flew to Orlando, FL! The flight wasnt so bad, but Im not into flying all that much. Landings fuck with me, I dont give a fuck who knows it, that shit is scary. People die. ANYWAY, we got our bags and rental car and went to our rental home. We stayed at the Emerald Island resort and it was SO nice. Actually, what we stayed in was a villa, so, Pentakis and I made sure to refer to it as such! 

Once we kinda got stuff situated, we went to Giordano’s for pizza and it was just as good as I remembered it in Chicago. Then we picked up a bunch of booze and groceries and went back to the Villa.

Monday we went to MGM! Ahem, I mean, we went to Disney’s Hollywood Studios. This morning was a rough one for me. I was hung THE FUCK over when I woke up. While I was getting ready I had my girlfriend on Skype to make me feel better. Once I managed to get some small amount of makeup on, we headed out the door! Now, Ive been to MGM before, so there were some things I remembered from being a kid. Isnt it amazing how the memories you make at Disney last your whole life? Theres so much I dont remember from my childhood, but some of my Disney memories are as vivid as anything. 

Once we got in, I was ALL ABOUT getting on the Rock n Roller Coaster. I LOVE Aerosmith and roller coasters, so, yanno. AND, it was great. I was in some weird half screaming/half singing limbo the whole ride, but Id do it like a million times over and over.

BOOM. SHIT WAS RAD.

I then went on the Tower of Terror. Now, this fucking ride has been the bane of my existence since I was like 7 years old. I used to be a scaredy kid when I was little, okay? I grew up to love horror and suspend from hooks, so fuck you. So, long story short, I was too scared to get on the Tower of Terror. THIS TIME I WOULD NOT LET THE RIDE WIN. So I didnt. But that shit is still scary. I thought I might die, but just a little bit. Im down to do it again, but I had every right to be a scaredy kid. Pfft.

So, Leo, Pentakis and I are walking around and we come to this like, Hall of Fame part of the park where they have all these famous busts. You know, like this guy that we all love so much.

and my main bitch, Betty White. 

Obviously, me at my most attractive.

THEN THE COOLEST THING HAPPENED. SOMEONE RECOGNIZED ME.

This guy and his wife spotted me acting a fool with these busts, and asked very nicely to take a photo. At first, I thought they wanted to take a photo of the bust I was acting a fool in front of. Real smooth. Of course I took a photo and gushed about how they made my whole day. If you see this, you really did! I felt like the coolest girl in the whole park! I love when people recognize me and then come say hi. So if you see me somewhere, say hi! hahahaha

So basicially after that I spent the whole day skipping. I skipped to lunch!

We ate at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theatre, which was AWESOME. Good food, cold beer and the atmosphere was amazing. You eat in these little cars and its dark and there are snippets of old sci fi and disney movies playing on the big screen. Its like I was at Bengies! [Which is a drive-in movie theatre local to me :)] 

The new Star Tours is pretty cool. I dont remember all that much of the original, but this re-work is pretty sweet. Leonard said it was rad, and hes a bigger nerd than me, so we’ll go with its good.

GET SOME.

THEN, I MET MAX. And, I was disappointed in every single person that was like, ‘Its uh…um, I think it’s Young Goofy or something like that’. BITCH. HIS NAME IS MAX. HE IS GOOFY’S SON, AND HE HAS HIS OWN GOTDAMN MOVIE. STEP IT UP.

WE BE DANCIN’.

Basically, homies.

So then we went on the Great Movie Ride, which was awesome. We got the BANDIT! I’m pretty sure he’s the best bandit on GMR, and I think it’s funny he totally [accidentally?] puts his crotch at eye-level for everyone on the ride vehicle. Crotch Bandit. hahahahaha

BUT THE BEST OF ALL WAS THE MUPPETS.

MUPPETS. MUPPETS. MUPPETS. I FUCKING LOVE THE MUPPETS.

So the Muppet Vision Theatre is amazing. Its 4-D, I guess. Theres the 3-D glasses situation, then theres the getting spritzed with water and whatnot, and then theres the REAL muppets that run around the theatre and are in the opera boxes. SO SO GOOD. I was grinning so hard the whole time. I preordered my copy of The Muppets at the Disney Store already and when it comes out and I get my paws on it, I think Im gonna watch it like a million times. My girlfriend is gonna hate it hahahahaha ;D

That dude is TALL.

AAAAND this is me on a Hollywood Backlot that is absolutely, completely and 100% real.

And THIS is what I look like Singing In The Rain!

<3 <3 <3 <3

NOW FOR A LITTLE BACKSTORY.

For a while, I had been thinking about getting a Dark Side of Disney tattoo. I was kinda just gonna do it, then go over to Leo and Pentakis’ place and be like, haaayyy guyyyyssss, lookie! A couple days before we left, I was over their house and Pentakis starts talking about how she thinks itd be cute to get the anarchist mouse ears from the cover tattooed on her. I was like, O RLY? and kept that in my memory banks. When we were down in Orlando, we decided it would be the perfect time to do it. After doing research, I found a great shop. Which was not the one that, and I quote had ‘The Sexiest Tattoo Artist in Orlando’…..which I doubt. There was a chick working at the shop I went to that was way hotter, but eh. We ended up going to Fallen Sparrow Tattoos which is in Kissimmee. Its big, bright, clean and welcoming. I hate going into tattoo shops filled with assholes who act like Ive never been tattooed before. Pentakis and I were tattooed by Alixxx, who did an amazing job. Hes funny and smart, experienced, talented, and light handed. Which is very nice when getting the back of your neck done. All in all, it was a wonderful experience, and that is where I will be going if I find myself in Orlando needing a tattoo again. I suggest that thats where you go, as well. Mad props to Leo for buying it for me, which was a very nice and generous surprise. Thanks bro! :D

Too Legit To Quit. 

So, thats all the Disney trip stuff you get this time. Ive decided Im going to talk about one day at a time so I can try to not leave anything out. :)

Since I’ve been back, Ive filmed a puppet show with Leonard and El Tigre from the Rock N Roll Freak Show called Cooking with Rola. That was one HELL of an experience hahaha, it was great and when the video is up, I will link to it. :) Also, Leo and I just did the DisAfterDark podcast, which you can find on their website, DisAfterDark.com. You can hear me be way more prepared than Leo and drinking whiskey when all the boys were just drinking beer ;D You know how this Doll rolls.

Also, the mailman has been my best friend. I ordered myself a vintage skirt and canvas print which came recently, and my mother got me a Hooter doll from when Captain EO came out in 1986! But, thanks to a few of you, Ive gotten a number of gifts from my wishlist!! I received 2 nail polishes that I adore, the Dropkick Murphys patch Ive wanted for over a year [my vest is looking pretty sweet these days, to be real.], the fucking JUICER that Im going to use like, every day, this great PBR poster and I was emailed last night with a heads up to expect the switchblade stiletto dress on there. To everyone that gets me something, it means the world to me, and I encourage those of you who do to email me so I can send you a thank you gift in return! All of the support and love you guys have given me, and those of you who have stuck by me no matter what Im doing in life, is amazing. A Doll is nothing without her Trinkets <3 I love all my Trinkets <3 Also, HUGE thank you to everyone that has bought an 8x10 so far! I hope you all love them when you get them! I put heart into decorating my envelopes and whatnot ;)

Whats everyone doing for St Partick’s Day this year? I wont be peeling 20 lbs of fucking carrots and potatos for a bunch of ungrateful strippers, I tell you that much. I will, however, be drinking early, going to work [I hope], and then drinking more once Im off work. Ill be starting at Tir Na Nog at the Inner Harbor to see my Ireland buddy Joe and after that, well…now would probs be a good time to start following me on TWITTER to keep up with my nonsense. Im so pumped for St. Patricks its stupid. That and Halloween are my fucking JAM. So, Im sure Ill have plenty of photos of myself dressed like/acting a fool and being generally pretty awesome. WHAT ARE YOOUUU DOING?

I guess that it for this entry! Recap, day 1 was awesome. MUPPETS. recognized, good food, cold beers, new tattoos! I love my Trinkets [which is what Im calling everyone now, cause saying Fan is rude and not always a correct way to term someone], St Patricks day is coming up and Im gonna be sauced for it.

Glitter and Gore

<3

Draven

So Im not doing a birthday blog yet to remind you guys to come to ATOMIC BOOKS TONIGHT! The address is 3620 Falls Rd in Hampden, Maryland. The event is from 7pm-9pm.

Its gonna be sweet! 

Leonard and I will be there signing books, reading a couple good stories, and narrating some awesome Epcot footage for you guys! There will be plenty of copies of the book, and I have some wicked nice 8x10s that I’ll be signing.

Again, this is a free event, and there will be adult beverages.

www.atomicbooks.com

www.darksideofdisney.com

See you there!!

<3

Draven

So this week was kinda cool.

Sorry for the lateness! I try to post late on a monday or a tuesday. Sometimes it doesn’t always work out. 

Annnnyyywayy. Thanks to everyone that tuned into the WDW After Dark show on Friday the 13th! (PS, how awesome was it that it was Friday the 13th? I’ll get there.) I had such a blast. Kind of a funny story, really. So, I had to work, and can usually rig it so that Im out of there at a reasonable time. That doesn’t always work out, either. This was one of those nights. I get out like, 20 minutes later than I usually do, which gave me like 10 minutes to make the at least 15 minute drive to Leonard’s place. Somehow, I wasn’t as late as I should have been, but I was still late. I run like an asshole right into the house, rip off my jacket, throw on my Figment ears and slide into the chair…only to hear that we aren’t on yet and we didn’t actually go on until like 15 minutes after that. PFFT. hahaha, it was all good though because the show was a blast. Everyone is so much fun and I’d love to go back on sometime. You can check out the show if you missed it on www.wdwafterdark.com

FRIDAY THE 13TH!

I love it. I was super pumped because I TOTALLY had forgotten about it until I looked at a calendar hahaha. Before I went to work I watched scary movies and I wore this sweet shirt. :) 

Awww yeahhhh.

So, something I’ve been looking forward to for months finally happened!

I’m talking about Beauty and the Beast in 3D! 

My lady took me to see it, yanno, cause its pretty much my birthday. We went real late on a weeknight because I don’t really like children all that much. There was pretty much no one in the theatre which was so so cool. I got to put my feets up and errythang.

If you’re wondering if I cried like a baby. Well, fuck you. ‘Cause I did. At least twice. And you know what else? I obviously dont give a hoot who knows it. hahaha

Hmmm, oh. I went to this employee party at my girl’s bar. I love employee parties. Free food, open bar and they usually dont suck, I mean, if you work someplace cool. Ive never been to like, a corporate employee party so I cant really speak for those. Anyway, So we’re there. Im eating delicious mac and cheese and drinking some PBR when a girl comes up to me all, ‘Thats cute that you drink PBR even when it’s free’. Wait, what? Are you only suppossed to drink PBR when youre broke? Should one not choose a PBR? It kinda threw me off. Let’s not forget my epic eBay battle last year for the PBR boxing bell. I fucking LOVE that thing. 

I drink it because it is delicious, madam. Thank you and good day!
[Side note, if its an open bar…the irish whiskey isn’t safe, either]

oh Oh OH!

THE JUICE! The Spiked juice! Oh golly it’s so delicious. Seriously. Try it yourself. I mean, its like making fruit champagne. Im about to drink some right after I finish this blog while I shower before work. Yes, WHILE IN THE SHOWER. My friend Nikki swears by this and I drunkenly swore that I would try it at least once. So, today is that day.

What else? Hmm, what else could I possibly be forgetting?

OH YEAH. MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW.

Happy 24th to me! My plans haven’t really panned out as expected, but Im going to at least go out anyway. I’ll be in the Fells Point area of Baltimore on friday. Starting at Max’s. ‘Cause damnit I want a draft raspberry lambic. Then Saturday I will most likely be at Central for their throwback party. It’s Missy Elliot themed. Grand Central is in Mt. Vernon. Both days I’m not off work until 9 so I won’t be anywhere really till like 10. Everyone is welcome to come hang out and buy me a drink. If you can’t make it this weekend, be sure to come out for the Dark Side of Disney reading/signing at Atomic Books on the 27th! It’s from 7-9pm and as I said last week, after that Im sure we’ll be heading to Rocket to Venus or something. It’s all gonna be fun. If you can’t make it to anything but still wanna make me feel special, here’s a link to Please and Thank You. Mostly, thank you everyone who continues to support me and the things I do. Granted, theres definitely been a number of twists and turns, but you guys mean the world to me. :)

SO, moral of the story.

Happy birthday to me! Come hang out!

Come see me and Leo Kinsey at Atomic on the 27th!

<3

Draven

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